EDITOR’S NOTE: For the next several weeks, this column will feature this year’s recipients of the Order of Collingwood and the Companion to the Order of Collingwood.
After the loss of her son in 2018, in an act of survival, a Collingwood mom has worked hard to bring resources to moms who have experienced a similar loss.
For this week’s edition of People of Collingwood we spoke with Katie Pereira Prebble, 32, recipient of the Order of Collingwood.
Q: For how long have you lived in Collingwood? If you weren't born in Collingwood, when did you move here and why?
A: We moved here from Toronto when I was eight.
My dad got a job opportunity and started his plumbing apprenticeship with a family member when we came up here. He is a plumber.
Q: What schools did you attend?
A: I went to Cameron Street Public School and Our Lady of the Bay (then Jean Vanier).
Q: After that, where did life take you?
A: While I was in high school, I did my co-op at the YMCA daycare. I worked there for 12 years. Up until recently, I was the manager of the Cineplex in Collingwood. Now I’m mostly a stay-at-home mom but I do some serving on the side just to get out and have a social life.
Q: What were your life circumstances that led you to doing the work you do in the community?
A: I lost my son.
Prior to my loss, I only knew one other person in my whole life who had ever had a stillbirth. It wasn’t really something I knew much about or was educated on.
I definitely didn’t think it would happen to me.
In 2018, I was pregnant with my first-born, Lincoln. He was stillborn at almost 30 weeks. It was a medically uneventful pregnancy. Everything was going as it should. I was told everything was on-track and everything was perfect.
I went in for lack of movement one day, and his heart had just stopped. They tested everything and nothing came back with any indication of what could have happened. We never actually found out why.
Q: How did that impact you?
A: It was a really dark time.
It flipped my whole world upside down. You never think these things are going to happen to you or someone you love, so when it does, it flips everything on its head.
My family was very supportive, but at first, it was a very isolating experience because I couldn’t talk to anybody. I didn’t know who I could reach out to about this.
I learned so many things I wouldn’t have known. After a certain gestational loss, you are legally obligated to bury or cremate your child. Nothing prepared me for that.
In the whole experience, I realized this isn’t talked about enough. There isn’t enough information or resources.
Our first fundraising initiative was for a cuddle cot, which is a cooling bed to preserve a baby for as long as possible so family can come say their goodbyes. Collingwood General and Marine Hospital didn’t have one.
I know those images are permanently in my brain and I wanted to save other families and moms from having those images.
We got one in Collingwood and then we... got one in Orillia. We also upgraded the camera in the labour and delivery unit. I quickly realized that (the photos) were all you were going to take home. Nothing prepares you for walking out of there without them.
It was trauma after trauma. It didn’t end at the loss.
I connected with other moms who had experiences loss through Facebook groups. They recommended resources and books for me and my husband. Something I really advocate for is, it’s not just the moms. The dads grieve too. It affects everyone.
This is now a bit of a passion project for everyone who went through this with me.
Q: When someone deals with a pregnancy loss, they might have an inclination to retreat inward, but you’ve really made a push to be out there, sharing your story and doing work to make sure others have support. What has driven you to react to your own experience in this way?
A: Honestly, survival.
I really want to help other people. In the moment, I really needed to funnel my energy and my time into creating something positive, or finding a positive outlet.
It would have been so easy, and I caught myself doing it, where I would shut myself down from having friends visit. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I closed off, and I saw myself going down that hole.
I realized if I let myself go down there, I wasn’t going to come back out.
I needed to make sure no one feels the way I felt. I wanted to make sure no one feels alone or isolated.
I funnelled all of my time and energy into that and it gave me a bit of a purpose and something to focus on other than my own grief.
It still hits me on any given day at unexpected times.
Q: How did you feel when you heard you had been chosen as a recipient of the Order of Collingwood?
A: I was very overwhelmed. I ran to my husband with tears in my eyes!
It was a surreal moment.
It’s hard to take recognition for something I feel like I had to do. It felt crazy to me. I feel so passionate about it and it made my heart happy to do it.
I’ve met so many people who know who I am through what I’ve been doing, who I had never met. It’s like this little family that’s surrounded me. It’s nothing short of magic.
Q: You’ve continued your work by doing fundraisers for the Collingwood hospital, the Georgian Triangle Humane Society and My Friend’s House. Do you have other hobbies outside of your volunteer efforts you’d like to talk about?
A: I’m a big crafter. I make personalized T-shirts, sweaters and gifts.
I also have a passion for dance. I do dance fit and other dance classes. It’s my other love.
When I’m not doing that, I’m a very proud mom. My second son is three. I spend as much time as I possibly can with him. I tell people I’m a proud mom of two, and I carry one in my arms and one in my heart.
Q: What does the future hold for you?
A: I really hope the future holds a continuation of the fundraising I do. I wouldn’t be able to do that without the support of the community. I couldn’t come up with this money on my own. The sky’s the limit.
I can organize the fundraisers and raffles, but if no one shows up, they won’t do well.
I’d like to continue what I’m doing, because I really enjoy it.
For our feature People of Collingwood, we speak with interesting people who are either from or are contributing to the Collingwood community in some way, letting them tell their own stories in their own words. This feature runs on CollingwoodToday every weekend. If you’d like to nominate or suggest someone to be featured in People of Collingwood, email [email protected].
