Ever since the time he was ready to start school as a young boy, Fern Taillefer always knew he wanted to be a soldier.
Taillefer, who currently serves as the first vice-president, parade marshall and poppy campaign chair for the Royal Canadian Legion Branch 147 in Barrie, has been wearing one type of uniform or another since he first joined the cadets in North Bay as a kid. When he was 18, he joined the Canadian Armed Forces, and spent six years as a reservist before joining the regular forces as a member of the military police in 1980.
“I remember being about four or five years old and watching soldiers on TV and I wanted to be that guy living in a hole. I had no idea that guy was a member of the infantry, but it looked cool to me,” he says, adding the moment he joined the cadets he fell in love with it. “The whole military lifestyle — the uniform, the discipline, the training — I really liked it and was a good fit.”
As he got older, Taillefer says he decided he also wanted to be a detective.
“I realized I could do both at the same time… so I could have the best of both worlds.”
His first mission was in Egypt as a young reservist. Taillefer admits he didn’t think he’d be doing more than enjoying the sun and touring the pyramid.
“I was 18. My attitude as a young reservist was they were sending me to Egypt and it was going to be a great holiday," he says. "They’re paying me for six months and I’d be seeing the pyramids and doing nothing.
“When I landed in Cairo, they told us to stay seated in the plane. I looked out the window, and there was a conveyor belt being installed to go to the belly of the aircraft," Taillefer says. "The reason was because a Canadian soldier, who was on the same mission I was going on, was being loaded into the belly of the aircraft… in a coffin to go home.
"My whole mindset changed right there and then. I was there for a purpose."
In the years that followed, Taillefer served as a member of the military police in Petawawa, Ottawa and overseas in Europe — before landing at Canadian Forces Base Borden at the Military Police Academy in Angus.
Over his career, Taillefer served in peacekeeping missions in the Middle East in Egypt and Israel, did a tour as a bodyguard with NATO and protected individuals with threats to their lives — as well as members of the British royal family when they came through Europe.
After returning to Ottawa following his time in Europe, Taillefer was put in charge of aircraft security for Prime Minister Brian Mulroney.
“Military police is very unique. It’s not like other police forces. We have federal jurisdiction, of course, but we are all over the world. We are in war zones as well. Being a soldier and wearing the uniform and representing Canada was a big thing for me.”
With Remembrance Day, Taillefer told BarrieToday it’s important to not only remember and honour those who fought for Canada, but also their families — as they also make great sacrifices.
“I want to make sure that the generations that are following us don’t forget what’s happened. They have this freedom that they think is just this normal thing but they don’t know our soldiers fought for that freedom. I want them to know it came at a price,” he says.
One of the many hats Taillefer wears is as a veterans affairs officer is to make sure that veterans — and their families — get help if and when needed. After decades of struggling with, and hiding, his own battle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), he is now fighting to make sure that others don’t end up battling their own demons for as long as he did.
“I always tell our (government officials) that you can send a soldier to do a job anywhere in the world and a soldier will do that job. The last thing a soldier wants to do is fight, but (they) are there in case you have to," he says. "All I ask is that when you send one of our people over there to do the job and they get broken (ie. PTSD, etc.) that when they come home — fix them and don’t forget them.”
For many soldiers, admitting you’re struggling with mental health is extremely difficult, he says.
“The reason many won’t admit to it is because they think it will show a chink in their armour. We don’t want to be thought of as weak,” he says, telling BarrieToday that now that his own struggles are out in the open, he is finally getting the help he needed for so long. “I have come out of that dark hole I was in — and am trying to help all the other veterans I know of who are suffering.
"I think I am in a good place now.”
As a military police officer and investigator, Taillefer and his colleagues saw a lot of horrendous things over the years, from domestic abuse to accidents and suicide. The aftermath of those types of scenes, he admits they are hard to forget.
“I was getting nightmares. I was afraid to go to bed because when I’d close my eyes those faces would show up one after the other like a movie reel," he says.
For years after leaving the service, Taillefer would also constantly check his own vehicle for car bombs which took a big toll on his personal life.
“Before we got into a car, you had to search it, three or four times a day. The last check was you are in the car, you drive around the block and if it didn’t blow up, you’re OK," he says. "I did that for a long time. When I came home to Canada in 1987, I could not get into my car without looking for a bomb. I didn’t stop looking for bombs until two years ago.”
Taillefer holds his fellow veterans in high regard, and tells BarrieToday it took him a long time before he was comfortable even considering himself to be “one of them."
“Because I wasn’t in the First World War, the Second World War or even Korea, to me I wasn’t a veteran because I wasn’t fighting in a war. … That was my mentality. But then I realized when I did my close protection duties, to keep our diplomats safe, that was a war against terrorism… and I could have died at any time. We were on high alert every time we did the job,” he says.
“Our Afghanistan people, that was a war against terrorism and they are veterans. The way I look at it is as soon as you sign the dotted line, whether it’s as a reservist or regular force to wear that uniform and serve our country, you are now a veteran.”
