We call them heroes, especially in November. We honour their sacrifices and admire their courage.
They are Canadian military and first responders. They share the same steel spirit, but they are not made of steel.
At the Simcoe Street Press Gallery this weekend, you’ll find a collection of artwork called The Steel Spirit. Each piece - poems, paintings - is created by military personnel or first responders, their human, emotional response to their work as our heroes.
On one of the walls is an 8-by-10 painting of a woman and her dog sitting together in a field under a moody sky. The painting is a self-portrait of Andrea Johnson, a retired paramedic from Wasaga Beach, and her dog Roxy, a brindle boxer.
Quickly, Johnson clarifies she is not an artist, the supplies are “dollar-store quality,” the image on the wall is imperfect. But it is important.
Johnson was born tough, deciding at the age of 11 to become a paramedic. She left home at 16, but she followed her dream and worked for the County of Simcoe as a primary care paramedic.
But the work of a hero took its toll on her. She was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
“It took me three years to say that acronym,” she said. “I didn’t want to tell anybody for a very long time … by not sharing, I was mistakenly perpetuating the stigma.”
She suffered quietly, angry at herself for paralyzing anxiety, for not being able to get up off the floor.
“I’ve been hiding for a long time,” she said. “I was embarrassed, I’m private, I was afraid, and I’m supposed to be really tough.”
Her dog Roxy would find Johnson wherever she was, and “park herself” on Johnson’s lap, where she would stay, sometimes for hours, as long as Johnson needed her. The painting on the wall at the Simcoe Street gallery depicts Johnson and Roxy in exactly that position.
Roxy died in June, but she was part of the reason Johnson now says she is on a journey of post-traumatic growth.
Art has played a big role in Johnson being able to reconnect with emotions long since buried.
“I was surprised at the emotion it unlocked,” she said. “It has allowed me to talk about it in what feels like a safe space. A space where everyone is encouraged to embrace their own uniqueness.”
Talking about it has pushed Johnson to draw again from that Steel Spirit. She has accessed her tough, resilient parts, and decided to be vulnerable and honest. Being part of the gallery exhibit has helped.
“It makes me feel like I’m part of something that’s really special,” she said. “I hope it inspires people to look in and recognize something in themselves.”
Her painting hangs next to a poem written during the Second World War by Fred Andrews. He wrote the poem while overseas, marking all the places he visited. Andrews is 98 and still writing poetry
Other walls display images of a lone figure on a park bench, a police officer smiling next to a child - memories real or imagined - from the lives of military personnel and first responders. Those known, and respected, for their bravery.
On Monday, as Johnson observes a moment of silence, she will be thinking about sacrifice - the role shared by those who have entered careers in public service.
“We show up on people’s worst days, or we’re deployed,” she said. “We’re reacting normally to abnormal situations.”
They are tough, they are heroes, but they are humans too.
“It is hard,” said Johnson. “It puts a lot of pressure on humans to be super-human … I think it’s important to acknowledge the bravery, but human reaction is part of that, and those reactions need to be respected, acknowledged, and embraced. Mental health is such an important thing to talk about openly and not feel shame.”
The Steel Spirit gallery exhibit is part of the Remembrance Week Project by 5th Street Creative Initiative and Collingwood Public Library. The exhibit will be on display until Tuesday, Nov. 12.
For further information on the gallery: www.thesteelspirit.ca
